Dear Diary

New Year. New Me

Something that never ceases to amaze me is how cynical everyone is at this time of year – and by this time of year, I mean a new one. All of the New Year, New Me talk has everyone’s half empty side showing in a big way, and it’s so lame.

Me? I am a firm believer in growing and changing, hell, if we didn’t then can you imagine what painful people we would be? That is exactly why I always, ALWAYS embrace the opportunity to grow and change. That includes starting over when a new year starts.

1928866_119817618659_7906767_nI’ve been honest about how challenging 2016 was for me, and I promised myself that I would never, ever let depression take control of my life again. It was tough and I needed to fall apart entirely in order to start building the Cashé that I want to be, the Cashé that I deserve to be.

A new Cashé.

 

 

Old me wasn’t without her charms. She’s always been a resilient lady, hard working and willing to put her back into everything she took on. I’d like to think that I’ve kept that part of me alive and well for years. Old me is tough as nails – or at least she likes to pretend that she is. I’m not ashamed to say that I’m sensitive and that I’m a bit emotional, it’s taken a lot of demon wrestling to come to terms with this and I’m okay with that. Old me was calculated in her fearlessness and I still weigh up all my pros and cons before diving into anything head on.

466615_4730398177179_1987800871_o
Photography courtesy of Bronwyn Stewart

One of my new year resolutions is to let go of the past. I do that far too often, I hold onto every little thing that has gone wrong for me in the past and I keep holding onto them. It’s unhealthy to obsess about the way you said hello to that guy in your Economics class when you were 17. It’s time to move on, he probably has (and probably has no idea who the hell you are).

11035310_10205922679447022_6139972276284964803_o
Awkward 17-year-old Cashé

It’s time to let go of the fact that I couldn’t control my happiness for the better part of a year because I needed medication to cope. I got the damn medication, and I’m feeling better than ever. I need to forgive myself for being so hard on myself, I’ve learned from my mistakes, so I can let go of them already.

That’s the important one. Learn from your mistakes, don’t hold onto them. 

Old me couldn’t do eyebrows to save her life, thankfully that’s something that the New Me is very serious about.

Old me became a mom really early on in her life and new me is thankful that I grew along with my son. I’m proud of myself for tackling the trickiest thing that I’ve ever been faced with. Being a parent.

295296_345997838770909_598021289_nNevermind being a good one, I’m just thankful that ten years on, my Riley is a pretty wonderful kid who is kind and caring. Old me had a hand in that and new me is grateful that she was so determined to be the best mom that she could be.

So, what is the point of this whole thing? That I’ve learned so very much from my old self, and I’m so grateful that I have had these lessons, even though they were tough as hell. I am going into 2017 as a brand new person, because every day that we’re given a second chance is a chance to do something new.

Grab that chance with both hands and roll with your new self!

Until next time, I’m on social media here and here.

Xoxo

cashe

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s