Are open letters still a thing? No? Oh well.
Dear person who doesn’t understand,
I get it, not everyone will understand why a person will go through the things they do just to look good. I mean, let’s think about what I could possibly gain out of eating 5-times a day and working out twice a day. Madness.
I don’t know why I would wake up at 4:30 so that I could walk on a treadmill for an hour (ensuring that my heart rate doesn’t spike any higher than 130… because fat-burning zone), or why I would restrict myself to a handful of vegetables that I can eat (broccoli and butternut until next week). Why the hell would I want to work a mentally demanding job for 9 hours a day, only to go back to gym as soon as my hour commute home is finished? Idiot. Then still be a doting wife and loving mom. WTF is wrong with me?
Why would I want to lift things that I don’t have to lift? What the hell do I want calluses on my hands for? They’re gross and can end up hurting if you start picking at them (which I do). Let me not even start on the muscles. How disgusting are the muscles on those women, I mean really – it looks so manly and gross. Butch.
I know that you couldn’t bring yourself to giving up smoking/drinking/eating sugar, but some people have. It’s personal choice, and I don’t mind that you don’t take your health as seriously as I do. Because let’s be real for a minute, your unhealthy habits are not interfering with my healthy ones at all, so you do you!
I know that my constant exhaustion is absolutely annoying because I never hang out with anyone anymore because I ALWAYS gym. And let me not even start on the rudeness that is bringing your own food to a social gathering – can’t you live a little for just one day? I know that my social media feed is full of fitness related stuff, which totally interferes with all the drunken pictures you’re sharing. Sorry about that. I’m also studying now, so I’ll occasionally use my new found knowledge in front of you – like a cuss word or accidentally showing porn in front of your kids, how awful!
You should just go ahead and unfriend me already, because it’s been 3 years since I got into this fitness fad and it isn’t getting any better. I know that it is obsessive, but don’t worry about me, I’m careful with what I obsess over. Like Channing Tatum or which whey protein flavor to buy this month (American Ice-Cream Soda is the front runner).
Don’t even start on the flexing. Seriously, why the hell is all that flexing necessary? (Flexing helps bring blood to your muscles, really helping build them up. The more blood in your muscles, the more they have that pump to them.) Plus, those muscles can only get that big with steroids, so everyone in the gym is probably juiced up. Totes.
But seriously though, don’t worry about why body builders, fitness enthusiasts, gym goers, boets, etc. are as dedicated to their sport as they are. They are athletes, but you don’t hear people saying any of the above about professional athletes, do you? No. Why is that?
Being healthy isn’t obsessive, it isn’t gross or madness or any of the other terms people use to belittle something that is important to others. Being healthy is a choice. A choice that thousands of people make on the reg. Healthy choices are so much more difficult to make than the opposite variety, and takes so much more focus to follow through (seriously, we’re dedicated AF).
Stop telling people to live a little, I speak for myself when I say that I’m doing the best living I have ever done. I don’t regret my lifestyle change; it is the best thing I’ve ever done to your newsfeed. I mean think about it, if it didn’t make you question your life choices, you wouldn’t give two poops about what healthier decisions other people are making… right?
Side Note: You are all entitled to your opinions, as am I. My opinions include healthy options and every now and then a little bit of motivating you to do the same will come out. Like inspiration vomit… I’ll be all over you with motivational quotes! Also, in case you didn’t get it, this post is seriously satirical.