It has been nine whole days since I stopped smoking entirely. Nine. Whole. Days. What this means is that I am now entitled to be that pretentious non-smoker that everyone complains about. I am kidding… obvs… but what it has taught me is that I am so much stronger than I thought I was, and so damn stupid for starting to smoke to begin with. Here is what I have learned out of this experience.
The first few days of being a non-smoker are probably the worst thing that you will experience ever. You’re going through withdrawal symptoms that you weren’t even aware existed! While the majority of symptoms that I experienced can be found with a simple Google search, I discovered one that I wasn’t expecting at all… nausea.
Like clockwork, every single day at 16:30, I get so incredibly nauseous that I want to die. My body hates me so very much right now and is letting me know by giving me a mild case of Gastro.
I Can’t Even
You know all those jokes about how people should leave the country when someone stops smoking? I know why they make them up. I am so annoyed with absolutely everything, all of the bloody time and I have no idea why! Seriously, I just flail around like a wounded toddler and cry for no reason at the drop of a hat. It is amusing my husband though…
Actually, nicotine withdrawal is a lot like being pregnant, but with no cute baby to look forward to, because…
If it moves, I will eat it…
Ironically, I want to eat everything, all of the time! Which isn’t too much of a stretch for me because I do work out a lot and my body needs a lot to recover. But lately, I feel like I could dive head first into the toppings bar of Wakaberry and die there. It takes me more willpower to avoid shoving sweets into my face than it does stopping at the shops to buy a pack of cigarettes.
I am not even kidding about that willpower business, but it does get easier when…
You Smell A Smoker
Yes. For the past 13 years I have smelled like I was on fire. I smelled like I had been hanging out in the fiery pits of hades just letting my pores absorb chemical smog. Which is weird because I have the absolute biggest phobia of smelling bad. I know, I know… the irony. I randomly sniff myself now, because I really do smell so good. I won’t smoke again just because I have realized that fact. And I won’t apologize for calling smokers stinky, instead, as a former stinky smoker, I want to apologize to people who had to sniff me. That must have sucked. I am sorry.
It’s Really NOT Cool
Only Marla Singer could make smoking look cool. Seriously, I look back at pictures of me smoking and I am like… “The Lameness is astounding.” I do have an epic photographer who made me look amazing while sucking on a cancer stick (yes, I slipped that one in there), but other than how great Bronwyn is at photography, it isn’t that cool to be a smoker.
Everyday is a Victory
Each time I resist the urge to light a cigarette is a victory. That is because I am breaking one bad habit and replacing it with a good one. I drink water when I crave a cigarette now, or record a video of myself talking about being X amount of days without a cigarette. I then subject the public to these videos to help me validate the iffy moments that I am experiencing on this non-smoking journey. It’s the little things.
Smoking makes breasts sag faster than normal by breaking down a protein in the skin called elastin, which gives youthful skin its elastic appearance and supports the breast. If that doesn’t scare the tar out of you, I don’t know what will!
If you have kicked the habit, let us know about it in the comments section and feel free to pass this message along to someone who needs it!